bushyeyebrows | SUPERNATURAL OREGON TRAIL : PART 1

So it begins. Let's get our supernatural posse together.

Obviously, we're going to Sacramento because Sam has a boner for California unlike no other. Fuck Oregon. As you can see, I have elected to make Castiel and Crowley old as dirt, because I'm being logical. They're old. Benny, however, gets to be young, because I had no transparent images to transplant him on. Poor Benjamin.

I also went ahead and put some skills down for Samantha. As you can see, the Spanish stuck.

Olé.

Let's get a move on!! Here's a boring blurb all the kids skip really quickly after their initial playthrough.

Hint: Most people's advice sucks. And is generally boring. Observe:

See, it sucks.

Check out this vibrant green screen world for our boys.

If you click on that guy a lot, he overlaps and says hello. What a numb-skull.

DEAN hates this place, but he's quickly settled down by the promise of dangerous equipment. We also visit some guy who thinks he knows medicine during a time where colds killed everybody. He sells sulfur, by the way. We don't need sulfur, because we have Crowley, and demons poop sulfur out of their buttholes so we're well-stocked.

Also, is it me, or does the guy in the medicine place look like Justine Timberlake?

Sam makes a journal entry while walking simultaneously. It's a talent.

We've got the right idea. Maybe we should buy some Borax in case we run into LEVIATHAN.

Unless you just want to buy brandy and hang with some Dick for the night.

I can't remember which wagon train we left with, but I circled one anyway to be professional.

Goodbye, Independence! Fuck yoooou!

We come across our first river, and for some reason Castiel wades off into it despite our best efforts to keep him dry.

BUT WE'RE MAKING OUR WAY. We caulked the wagons and floated our cute white (+1 asian) asses down the river.

: I know a few good spells that will help that cup of macaroni cheese you call hair.

: Still going to kill you in your sleep.

We also hit some fog and it's really spooky.

It's okay though, the boys investigated. And learned it was just old boring fog. Screw slowing down, we charge on ahead!! What exciting thing awaits them?!

Oh.

It's just a field. That's not so b—

Seriously, Crowley? You're at the ripe young age of 65 and you can't stand in a dry, sunny field without getting sick?

Clearly this means we should just force our way forward through horrible conditions in the hope that he will recover.

Oh. Maybe we should slow down. Let's increase his fluid intake, too. That fluid is probably brandy.

... How are we feeding Benny exac—

Hey look! A flooded trail!

Wow, super flooded. Let's rest a bit. Sam takes a load off his feet and writes:

We also rested for like 14 days in wet flooded land. I'm sure we're okay.

CROWLEY ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS

Well, what do we have to offer here, Sam -

Laudanum /ˈlɔːd(ə)nəm/ is a tincture of opium containing approximately 10% powdered opium by weight (the equivalent of 1% morphine). Today the drug's therapeutic indications are generally confined to controlling diarrhea, alleviating pain, and easing withdrawal symptoms in infants born to mothers addicted to heroin or other opioids.

Sweet, let's give him that. Sam is not willing to make him cool and moist.